I am willing to be honest with myself.
There is nothing wrong with honest doubts. Skepticism beats gullibility every time in avoiding error and foolishness. We all crave satisfying and coherent answers to life's big questions. I urge you to maintain healthy doubt as you read the following questions and consider each of the options. The more honest you are about your doubts, the more satisfied you will be at the end of this little journey.
One of the reasons people suffer doubt is that they do not have a beginning point to anchor their thoughts. It is possible to wonder (and wander) aimlessly without ever reaching a conclusion or a destination. Before trying to reach conclusions about things you don't know, it's necessary to establish those things you DO know. Until you have a point from which to develop your ideas, nothing gets settled. The certainties and non-negotiables must come first. You may feel adrift in a sea of doubt, but there are some things you DO know. We'll start there.
YOU are the beginning point. Have you ever thought about the essence of you? Not you in the sense of your function - parent, child, employee, student - but rather you in the sense of your being, who or what you are at your core. The essential "you" must be either the intended result of deliberate activity, or a meaningless, purposeless accident in a meaningless, purposeless cosmos. There really are no other options. Which do you think it is?
We've all heard stories, and perhaps met people who get near the end of their lives and conclude that their whole life was futile, or pointless, or wasted. Someone once quipped, "No one dies wishing they'd spent more time at the office." But if life is just a random accident - if there is no ultimate reason for anything - why not spend more time at the office?
Is life essentially meaningless, or does life have a purpose? This is the beginning point. No one sets off on a journey believing their destination does not exist. If we examine the available evidence and conclude that everything is simply the result of unintentional natural processes, any further inquiry into "meaning" or "morality" or even the probability of God existing becomes nonsensical; the premise precludes any meaningful conclusion. So let's honestly consider the evidence and see if we can answer the question: "Do I exist for a reason?"